Change

Adapt, cope, remain flexible and foster a positive attitude amidst life's ups and downs.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Struggling With Poverty

Struggling Pulitzer Prize-Winning Journalist Represents Face Of Poverty In The U.S.



William McPherson has a Pulitzer Prize, but little money to his name.
In a candid personal essay published in The Hedgehog Review, the 81-year-old journalist revealed his descent into near poverty. While his trajectory was unexpected, McPherson’s financial state represents a common narrative in America today.
 
"I started life comfortably middle-class, maybe upper-middle class; now, like a lot of other people walking the streets of America today, I am poor," the acclaimed author wrote. "To put it directly, I have no money."
mcpherson
More than 45 million people, or 14.5 percent of the U.S. population, lived below the poverty line last year, the Census Bureau reported in September. And economists forewarn that elderly Americans are on the brink of experiencing the greatest retirement crisis in "the history of the world."
 
This demographic is too frail to work, too poor to retire and those with pensions likely won’t receive the amount of money they’ve been counting on.
 
Relying on The Washington Post’s "miserable pension" -- he worked at the paper for about 25 years -- was a major factor that led to McPherson’s financial demise.
 
His pension kicked in when he was 65 and is now worth half of what it was, he wrote in his essay.
The octogenarian founded The Washington Post’s "Book World" and won a Pulitzer in 1977 for his literary criticism for that section. He went on to write two "well-received" novels in the '80s and pursued his passion of covering eastern Europe after the fall of the Wall.
 
After working for the Post intermittently for 25 years, McPherson accepted the company’s deal of taking an early retirement at 53. He accepted the offer because the Post agreed to keep him on its medical plan, which was "very good and very cheap" at the time, and because he thought he could make a decent living continuing to work as a writer.
 
McPherson earns $11,670 a year and his Social Security comes to "more than that," he wrote. He’s never applied for welfare, Medicaid or food stamps. The annual income threshold for being counted as living in poverty was $11,490 last year for a person.
 
But after suffering a major heart attack which led to congestive heart failure, McPherson’s medical bills have taken a major toll on his limited income.
 
The Department of Housing and Urban Development subsidizes his rent and a District office helps out with his medical insurance payments.
 
The writer’s medical woes represent yet another common concerning financial issue.
Across the U.S., 43 percent of households are one financial crisis away from falling below the poverty line, according to a report released by advocacy group Corporation for Enterprise Development.
 
But the celebrated author admits that his poor financial planning and frivolous spending also contributed to his current financial state.
 
McPherson said being poor and having to turn to friends and family for help has been "humiliating." But he’s also grateful for the firsthand education he’s received in what it means to struggle in America and how varied those experiences can be.
 
"Compared with most poor people, I am fortunate," he wrote. "If you’ve got to be poor, finding yourself at the upper edge of poverty with a roof over your head and a wardrobe that doesn’t look as if it came from the Salvation Army is as good as it gets. It also helps to be white."

 

 



 



Make changes that last

The Energy Project CEO and performance expert, Tony Schwartz!

We’re starting a new year, and we all have changes that we’d like to make. The problem is that for most of us, our long string of failed New Year's resolutions has weakened our resolve.

So how can we address this seemingly perpetual conundrum? There’s no doubt that change is hard. The key is to build awareness of our own tendencies and behaviors, and then to design highly specific rituals, so that we are intentional about how we use our small reservoirs of self-discipline. With the right foundation, we can pinpoint our energy management blindspots and turn bad habits into energizing ones.

Join us for an introduction to energy management and the foundational steps you’ll need to take to make a change that last.

 Source: http://theenergyproject.com/

 

Friday, January 9, 2015

Ralph Waldo Emerson talks Principles


“As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.” 

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.” 
― Ralph Waldo EmersonRalph Waldo Emerson on Self Reliance


“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson



"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson



“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another.” 
― Ralph Waldo EmersonEssays: First Series



“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson


Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson


Life is a journey, not a destination.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson


“Shallow men believe in luck or in circumstance. Strong men believe in cause and effect.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Peace cannot be achieved through violence, it can only be attained through understanding.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson


Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays.
― Ralph Waldo EmersonCollected Poems and Translations


Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson



“Be yourself; no base imitator of another, but your best self. There is something which you can do better than another. Listen to the inward voice and bravely obey that. Do the things at which you are great, not what you were never made for.” 
― Ralph Waldo EmersonSelf-Reliance and Other Essays


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.” 
― Ralph Waldo EmersonSelf-Reliance


Whatever course you decide upon there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires....courage.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson



Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can offer with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation, but of the adopted talent of another, you have only an extemporaneous, half possession.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson


Every artist was first an amateur.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what people think. This rule,equally arduous in actual and intellectual life, may serve for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness. It is the harder, because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” 
― Ralph Waldo EmersonEssays & Poems


“Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson


The ancestor of every action is a thought” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson



“To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children,
to leave the world a better place,
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived,
this is to have succeeded.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson


“Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your readings have been to you like the blast of a trumpet.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson






Wisdom



Wisdom is the ability to think and act using knowledgeexperienceunderstandingcommon sense, and insight.[1] Wisdom has been regarded as one of four cardinal virtues; and as a virtue, it is a habit or disposition to perform the action with the highest degree of adequacy under any given circumstance. This implies a possession of knowledge or the seeking thereof in order to apply it to the given circumstance. This involves an understanding of people, things, events, situations, and the willingness as well as the ability to apply perception, judgement, and action in keeping with the understanding of what is the optimal course of action. It often requires control of one's emotional reactions (the "passions") so that the universal principle of reason prevails to determine one's action. In short, wisdom is a disposition to find the truth coupled with an optimum judgement as to what actions should be taken in order to deliver the correct outcome.


DefinitionA basic definition of wisdom is the judicious application of knowledge.[2] The opposite of wisdom is folly. Synonyms include prudencesagacitydiscernment, or insight.



Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wisdom



Thursday, January 1, 2015

Ideas and quotes


"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." - Socrates
I say the sentences again and again in my head until they sound right. Martin Amis


An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it. -Orlando A. Battista


Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real. - Thomas Merton


Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.


Everything is going to be alright, maybe not today, but eventually.


“Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day ... is too dear with its hopes and invitations to waste a moment on the rotten yesterdays.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson


“Not knowing when the dawn will come
I open every door.” 
― Emily Dickinson


“Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” 
― L.M. Montgomery

“I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.” 
― Anaïs Nin


“The artist is always beginning. Any work of art which is not a beginning, an invention, a discovery is of little worth.” 
― Ezra Pound


“The horizon leans forward, 
Offering you space to place new steps of change.”
― Maya Angelou


“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is -- infinite.” 
― William Blake


“The beginning is the most important part of any work.” 
― Plato

Great changes may not happen right away, but with effort even the difficult may become easy. 
-Bill Blackman

May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home.
-Irish Proverb



Effective people are not problem-minded; they're opportunity-minded. They feed opportunities and starve problems. -Stephen Covey

There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread. -Mother Teresa

Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe. -Saint Augustine

A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something. -Frank Capra


If I only had three words of advice, they would be, Tell the Truth. If I had three more words, I'd add, all the time. -Randy Pausch

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. -Lena Horne

You must never be fearful about what you are doing when it is right. -Rosa Parks

The world breaks everyone and afterward many are stronger in the broken places. -Ernest Hemingway


Life is a great & wondrous mystery, & the only thing we know that we have 4 sure is what is right here right now. Don’t miss it. -Buscaglia



"The greatest change in the world is made by optimists." http://stanford.io/1CQek33 


Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands.


"If you overcome others you are powerful. If you overcome yourself you have strength." 
- Lao Tzu



“Enjoy present pleasures in such a way as not to injure future ones.” — Seneca




"Do It the Hard Way." Philip Levine's advice for the young poet



"If you understand others you are smart. If you understand yourself you are illuminated." 
- Lao Tzu




In recognizing the humanity of our fellow beings, we pay ourselves the highest tribute.
-Thurgood Marshall


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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Trouble Sleeping? Change Your Habits


The many hours  people spend reading on the computer screens before bedtime are probably causing many sleep problems. 

Sleep deficiency  puts people's health at risk.

Occasionally taking Melatonin to go to sleep may be helpful but the sleep experts caution that you should not use it every night.  

Melatonin should be used to reset your sleep pattern, as in the case of disturbances caused by jet lag.


Reading On A Screen Before Bed Might Be Killing You




You've heard that using screens before bedtime can mess with your sleep, but new research suggests the problem is even more serious.

Reading from an iPad before bed not only makes it harder to fall asleep, but also impacts how sleepy and alert you are the next day, according to new research fromBrigham and Women's Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts. 

The study, published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences on Monday, said the findings could impact anyone who uses an eReader, laptop, smartphone, or certain TVs before bed.

The new research supports conclusions from older studies, which have also found that screen time before sleep can be detrimental.

"We know from previous work that light from screens in the evening alters sleepiness and alertness, and suppresses melatonin levels," Dr. Anne-Marie Chang, an associate neuroscientist in BWH’s Division of Sleep and Circadian Disorders who was a co-author on the study, told The Huffington Post via email. 

"This study shows comprehensive results of a direct comparison between reading with a light-emitting device and reading a printed book and the consequences on sleep."

If you don't want to feel like a zombie during the day, the findings are clear: Read an actual, printed book if you must stimulate your mind before bed, and avoid screens like your life depends on it, because it actually might. 

Chang said that sleep deficiency -- not getting enough sleep or obtaining poor quality sleep -- has been linked to other health problems such as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease. Chronic suppression of melatonin has also been associated with increased risk of certain cancers, she said.

Needless to say, sleep has its own innate benefits, so cutting it short is a bad idea anyway.

The study ran for two weeks and included 12 participants who read on an iPad for four hours before bed for five days straight, a process that was repeated with printed books. For some, the order was reversed: They started with printed books and moved to iPads.

iPad readers took longer to fall asleep, felt less sleepy at night and had shorter REM sleep compared to the book readers, researchers found. 

The iPad readers also secreted less melatonin, which helps regulate your sleep. 

They were also more tired than book readers the following day, even if both got a full eight hours of sleep.

The real-world effects may be even worse than what researchers observed over the course of their study, however. 

Chang told HuffPost that because iPad users were found to be more alert, people who look at screens before bed may stay up later than the study participants were allowed to, wrecking their sleep even more.

If you absolutely, positively must be on your tablet, phone, or computer before bed for whatever reason, there may be a way to make it safer. Try a filter that blocks blue light -- there's an app for Android that produces this effect, though you'll have to purchase a physical filter for your iOS device

Try F.lux if you're using a computer. 

Research has shown that blue light makes you more alert and suppresses your melatonin, thus hurting your quality of sleep.

"The best recommendation (although not the most popular) would be to avoid use of light-emitting screens before bedtime," Dr. Chang told HuffPost. 

"For those who must use computers or other light-emitting devices in the evening, software or other technology that filters out the blue light may help."




Link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/23/reading-before-bed_n_6372828.html?cps=gravity_2440_850527616054800812




 




Self-acceptance Quotes



“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” – Mark Twain


The curious paradox is that qwhen I accept myself just as I am then I can change.  - Carl Rogers

If you begin to understand qwhat you are qwithout trying to change it, then what you are undegoes a transformation.

The first step toward change is awareness.  The second step is acceptance.  - Nathaniel Brandon

Stop hating yourself for everything you are not. Start loving yourself for everything you are.

To be beautiful means to be yourself.  You don't need to be accepted by others: You need to accept yourself.

Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.  - Lisa M. Hayes

No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance. - Robert Holden
 

When people are not accepting toward themselves they are often obsessed with acceptance by others.  - Nathaniel Brandon


“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
― Lao Tzu

“Peace comes from within.  Do not seek it without.” 
― Gautama Buddha

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit”
― E.E. Cummings


“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” 
― C.G. Jung



“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” 
― Dalai Lama XIV


“It's not worth our while to let our imperfections disturb us always.” 
― Henry David Thoreau



“Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.” 
― Brené Brown   

“If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation.” 
― Jiddu Krishnamurti

“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” 
― Brené Brown


“At 30 a man should know himself like the palm of his hand, know the exact number of his defects and qualities, know how far he can go, foretell his failures - be what he is. And, above all, accept these things.” 
― Albert Camus


"Self-acceptance means living the life you choose to live without worrying what others think about you. It doesn’t matter what someone else thinks about you. What matters is what you think about yourself. Life is about choices—your life choices, not someone else’s choice about how you should live.” 
― Sadiqua Hamdan, Happy Am I. Holy Am I. Healthy Am I.



“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” 
― Max EhrmannDesiderata: A Poem for a Way of Life


“There comes a time in each life like a point of fulcrum. At that time you must accept yourself. It is not any more what you will become. It is what you are and always will be. You are too young to know this. You are still becoming. Not being.” 
― John FowlesThe Magus



“What is freedom? It consists in two things: to know each his own limitations and accept them – that is the same thing as to know oneself, and accept oneself as one is, without fear, or envy, or distaste; and to recognise and accept the conditions under which one lives, also without fear or envy, or distaste. When you do this, you shall be free.” 
― Ann BridgeIllyrian Spring

Sunday, December 28, 2014

‘Rethinking Positive Thinking’

 SCIENCE


Dare to Dream of Falling Short

Gabriele Oettingen Turns Her Mind to Motivation in ‘Rethinking Positive Thinking’

DEC. 22, 2014 


Credit Patricia Wall/The New York Times

Books

By RICHARD A. FRIEDMAN, M.D.


Ever hear the joke about the guy who dreams of winning the lottery?
After years of desperate fantasizing, he cries out for God’s help. Down from heaven comes God’s advice: 
“Would you buy a ticket already?!”

Clearly, this starry-eyed dreamer is, like so many of us, a believer in old-fashioned positive thinking: Find your dream, wish for it, and success will be yours.


Not quite, according to Gabriele Oettingen, a psychology professor at New York University and the University of Hamburg, who uses this joke to illustrate the limitations of the power of positive thinking. 

In her smart, lucid book, “Rethinking Positive Thinking: Inside the New Science of Motivation,” Dr. Oettingen critically re-examines positive thinking and give readers a more nuanced — and useful — understanding of motivation based on solid empirical evidence.

Conventional wisdom has it that dreams are supposed to excite us and inspire us to act.

Putting this to the test, Dr. Oettingen recruits a group of undergraduate college students and randomly assigns them to two groups. 

1. She instructs the first group to fantasize that the coming week will be a knockout: good grades, great parties and the like. 

2. Students in the second group are asked to record all their thoughts and daydreams about the coming week, good and bad.

Strikingly, the students who were told to think positively felt far less energized and accomplished than those who were instructed to have a neutral fantasy. 

Blind optimism, it turns out, does not motivate people; instead, as Dr. Oettingen shows in a series of clever experiments

it creates a sense of relaxation complacency. 

It is as if in dreaming or fantasizing about something we want, our minds are tricked into believing we have attained the desired goal.

There appears to be a physiological basis for this effect: Studies show that just fantasizing about a wish lowers blood pressure, while thinking of that same wish — and considering not getting it — raises blood pressure. 

It may feel better to daydream, but it leaves you less energized and less prepared for action.

Thinking she could get people to act on their wishes by confronting them immediately with the real obstacles that stood in their way, Dr. Oettingen and her colleagues developed a technique called mental contrasting.
In one study, she taught a group of third graders a mental-contrast exercise: 

1 They were told to imagine a candy prize they would receive if they finished a language assignment, and 
2 then to imagine several of their own behaviors that could prevent them from winning. 
Outcome:
 The students who did the mental contrast outperformed those who just dreamed.
So much for the relentless “you can do it” attitude that pervades our culture. 

Apparently, being mindful not just of your dreams, but also of the real barriers that you or the world place in their way, is a far more effective way of achieving your goals.
It seems like an obvious and deceptively simple concept, yet according to the author, only one in six people spontaneously thinks this way when asked what accomplishment is foremost in his or her mind.

Of course, people can spend years in psychotherapy exploring the reasons they have failed to succeed, too often with little to show for their efforts. 

But insight, as most mental health professionals know, is rarely sufficient to change behavior, and Dr. Oettingen says such therapy is probably unnecessary for many people.

Instead, she offers a simpler and faster alternative, an extension of her empirically validated mental contrasting exercise. She calls it:

  WOOP — “wish, outcome, obstacle, plan.”

According to preliminary data the author presents, mental contrasting can lead to better eating habits, an improved exercise regimen and greater control over alcohol consumption, among other benefits. 

Dr. Oettingen has even developed free app for your smartphone, called, appropriately, WOOP.







Dr. Richard A. Friedman is a professor of clinical psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College.

A version of this review appears in print on December 23, 2014, on page D5 of the New York edition with the headline: Dare to Dream of Falling Short. 

Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/23/science/gabriele-oettingen-turns-her-mind-to-motivation-in-rethinking-positive-thinking.html?src=me&module=Ribbon&version=context&region=Header&action=click&contentCollection=Most%20Emailed&pgtype=article&_r=0